I am constantly surprised by the places where I discover inspiration, even when it is least expected. Have you ever felt down and tried to find a way to escape from those feelings? What did you do to escape? Some of us, attempt to comfort ourselves through what we eat, or we drink an extra glass of wine. Others choose to shop on Amazon or even better, head to the mall to buy something we think will make us feel better.
Today my escape of choice was watching sappy Hallmark Christmas movies. These make me feel there is hope for happy endings. This weekend I couldn’t get motivated to do the things I felt were productive because I was feeling down and even a bit sorry for myself, I attempted to escape through other people’s stories of love and happiness.
After a couple of these movies, I was exploring what my Amazon Fire Stick had to offer and noticed a show I was interested in watching but hadn’t yet. I decided to check and see what it was all about. That was when it happened.
I discovered the Marvelous, and I do mean Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I started watching it and I couldn’t stop until I realized it was after midnight. The thing that makes her so Marvelous, is simply how real she is. She is a little bit sad, a little bit crazy, and a whole lot of strong independent woman! Miriam Maisel, a very interesting character.
Her husband was an entirely stupid man. He had a wife that dedicated herself to loving and supporting his every dream and desire. I mean, this is a period story, set in the 1950s. She was a true woman of the time who focused on being a good wife, but she, in her true nature, went above and beyond to help her husband reach his dream of doing standup comedy. He started having an affair with his secretary and one day he just up and left his wife. My favorite part of the show, so far, was when Mrs. Maisel’s father told her husband he was stupid because he would never find another woman like Miriam. That father was so right. He was right for every man who ever had a woman like Miriam Maisel, he was stupid to leave her or take her for granted.
Women who have the character of Miriam are a rare breed. Women who sacrifice and give selflessly to their husband and family. Women who put their husband’s success and needs before her own. Women who love with their whole life. These women even forgive time and time again when they are not getting the same love and devotion in return. They are committed and will work so hard to make their marriage work because they are faithful and devoted even when their partners are not. They often stay around for years of mistreatment whether it is physical or emotional in nature. They may not even notice when their partner is unfaithful because trust is part of the love they so freely give.
Today’s society is entitled and selfish. It takes work to break out of that and remain a loving giving individual. Are you one of those women? Or are you a man who displays the characteristics that Miriam Maisel displays?
If you are, I want you to take heart! No matter where you are in your relationship, if you have the spouse that already left you, if you are the one who has left or needs to leave, if you are still in the depths of the one-sided marriage, then take heart. You are right. You are good. You deserve more. You deserve a spouse that treats you with the same regard as you treat or have treated yours.
Remember, your spouse is the loser and the stupid one if they are like Joel Maisel and fail to see the gem, they have right in front of them. He was stupid because he didn’t recognize the good thing that he had. He didn’t treat her like the queen that she was, if he had, she would have treated him like a king for the remainder of his days. He will eventually realize that ‘the grass is not always greener on the other side’. By that time, his amazing, brilliant wife will have realized the mistake she made taking a risk on that loser. She will already be designing her new life. She will be chasing her dreams now that he is no longer holding her down. She will be living with peace and joy now that she no longer must try to please him while gaining nothing in return.
She might be sad on occasion because she must grieve for the life he stole from her innocent children and the one she once dreamed was possible before she truly knew him. The children deserved to have a solid loving family. They deserved to have a father who cherished their mother like she worthy of. Instead, their mother will provide an amazing life for her children where they feel loved, protected, safe, empowered and joyful for all the time they are with her. This is what will sustain them, this is what will help them thrive, no matter what they experience while they are with their father.
This will be the life for your children, the ones that live with you part of the time whether you are their mother or father. The ones that must at times, go stay with the other parent that was foolish enough to leave you or treat you in such a way that you needed to leave them. You have the strength in you to run circles around your ex. That ball and chain will no longer hold you back. Oh, they may still be a thorn in your side from time to time, but that is nothing you can’t handle. You are moving on, moving up, moving forward, no need to waste your time looking back.
No matter where you are in the process of this relationship of yours. Keep focused on what you need to do for you and your children. Grieve your loss as you need but keep moving forward one step at a time. You have got this. Don’t doubt that for one single minute! If this story has resonated with you at all, then I have full confidence that you are like Miriam. You will be better when you are free to be you!
If you would like to watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. You can find it on Amazon Prime. I will add a word of caution, it is full of strong language and some mild nudity, but it is all fitting and adds to the raw, real, story.