Have the stresses of life got you tied up in knots? Do you feel like you can never breathe because it is just one stressful event after another since your divorce?
Friends, I have news for you, this is just called life! ? For a while I was feeling like life was out to get me or that more bad things happened to me than most people. Then I began to realize that when I am going through a large challenge in life, it makes all the normal everyday stresses seem so much greater than they really are.
Why is this? During “normal” times in life (I say normal knowing this is a completely relative term) our stresses are manageable., Things such as a disagreement at work, a small car accident, a small appliance that stops working at home, a child who gets in trouble at school, and other non-major events, are things we can deal with easily. These are all relatively small stressors. However, when added to the extreme stress life can sometimes bring, they may just be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back. They can make you feel like life has become unmanageable.
Divorce is one of the most stressful events in a person’s life. Then, it often brings with it several other major stressors such as moving homes, starting a new job and adjusting to schedules without your kids with you every day. These can be devastating and make every little stressful event that comes along seem like a huge overwhelming mountain to overcome. Overwhelm is one of the leading causes of depression, so it should not be taken lightly. It will take time to recover from these major events, but you can still bounce back from small stressors and not allow them to overwhelm you. It may take some effort, but you can do it!
Here are a few things to build into your routine that will make you stronger, more resilient, and better able to cope as you face things each day. I admit, most are things you have heard before, but when you are feeling overwhelmed by life, it’s the simplest things that go by the wayside. This is your reminder to start them up again and practice them daily!
If you don’t already have an exercise routine in place, start one now!! It will help you in so many ways. Set a regular time, even if it is only a few minutes long and stick to it. Get a partner to walk with or one to be accountable with. Start a 30-day challenge or download an app to help you track what days you have completed helping you build it into a new routine.
Eat Healthy and Drink More Water
Eat fresh things that don’t come from a box. Implement a daily vitamin into your morning routine to be sure you are getting the vitamins and minerals your body needs. Then hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. It will help you think more clearly and face the stress that life brings.
I was an active-duty Army spouse during the biggest times of deployment for our service members for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. The government was seeing the toll this took on the service members and families and started implementing Resilience training. It taught me how to be resilient and bounce back from stresses of deployment and everyday life to remain psychologically healthy and fit for service. These skills are important for all of us. The main skill I remember from these training sessions was to Hunt the Good Stuff. This is like practicing gratitude and other forms of adjusting your perspective. When stress seems insurmountable, it is easy to get stuck in the mindset that everything is bad or difficult. Begin to start your day or end it by “hunting” for three things from the day that were good, enjoyable, or beautiful. This will help you see more good than bad, and the bad won’t seem so overpowering anymore.
Take Time to Do Something You Enjoy
Give yourself permission to leave something undone and do something you like rather than something you must do. What fills your joy and peace “cups”? Do you like to read, hike in the woods, sit on the beach, garden, make a craft, or bake a cake? Go do that! You can download my printable Self-Care Guide in my Resource Library for some ideas of what to do with this time.
Check Your Perspective
What are you telling yourself about your latest stressful event? Things like, I can’t handle this, I can’t do this alone, or I can’t take this anymore, First, review the things in life you have overcome and handled. Remind yourself of times when you were strong. Now, with confidence, remind yourself of the truth: I can handle anything. I am strong and brave. I have overcome worse and can do it again. I have the knowledge and skills needed and if I don’t, I will Google how to do it! Get the truth from a trusted friend or from God’s Word and use that to shift your perspective on what you are facing.
One thing is true. You are not alone in this. Join the Fab Life Now Facebook Community where we can support and lift each other. We are here as you trek through this journey called life and we will help you as you move away from pain back to purpose.